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Showing posts from 2014

Frankly Speaking : Arnab Thrashes Honey Singh!

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Arnab nailing Honey Singh! (Pic Credits: Google Images) Arnab : Welcome to Frankly Speaking, I'm Arnab Goswami. Tonight my dear viewers, we have got on our show, the so called 'Coolest Rapper Of India'. Whose pathetic songs can be heard almost everywhere across India. The guy who's absurd enough to add something as silly as 'Yo Yo' as a prefix to his name. Yes. You guessed it right. Please welcome Mr.Yo Yo Honey Singh on the show. Arnab: Welcome to Frankly Speaking! Let me start this with a very basic question. So, Mr. Honey Singh. Why do you produce foolish songs? Honey Singh: (smiling sheepishly) Thank You Arnab for inviting me to this show. I.. Arnab: (interrupts) Wait. Please stop this. Stop showing this gratitude by thanking me. Don't you think that I'll go soft on you if you treat me with these social courtesies. You'll have to answer my straight questions tonight, there's no escaping. Keep that in your mind. You may ple...

Shit Indian Politicians Say!

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Just the other day, I was watching Times Now and as usual Arnab was in super saiyyan mode, nailing some random politician for his absurd comment on rapes happening in India. Well. that's not surprising, Arnab does this feat almost everyday, but the surprising thing is, the shit some of these Indian politicians say. P.S : This guy's statements are not posted here, as it's mentally hazardous for the readers. Indian Politicians are well known worldwide, for their stupid comments on various things! Let's take a look at some of these classic statements! "I thought it was juice." ~ Murli Manohar Joshi. (Ex- HRD Minister, after he drank ferrous sulphate solution in a school science fair and later ended up in a hospital!) *facepalm* Now what can I say? He thought it was juice, so be it! :D “Boys and girls should be married by the time they turn 16, so that they do not stray… this will decrease the incidents of rape” ~ Sube Singh. (Khap Panchayat lead...

The Imbecility Of Indian Daily Soaps!

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        Remember the times, when you used to sit in front of that old CRT Television set, back in your childhood, watching Cartoon Network! Pokemon, Swat Kats, Dexter's Laboratory, Scooby Dooby! Those good times! And suddenly your utopia is interrupted abruptly when Mom snatches the remote from you and tells you to go and study, while she can catch up with the latest crap happening on "Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi". Yeah. You might well remember that dumbass show which ran for nearly a decade, I guess.          I've some odd memories about that show, like there was this one episode in it when the lead protagonist of the show, named Tulsi, shoots her own son. Everything, almost everything, from she pulling the trigger, to the bullet releasing itself from the gun, to the bullet penetrating the guy's chest. Everything was in monochrome and slow motion kind of shit. The most funny part was, even after the bullet...

Coming Back To Life!

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                                       "Long you live and high you'll fly. And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry. And all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be!" Tears rolled down my cheeks as I sat dumbstruck, gazing at my result sheet. I had flunked in nearly every subject and the doom of a year drop was looming across my dull future. Mindlessly, I went outside to get some fresh air. Just then the vibration of my phone startled my thoughts. It was Papa; probably calling to check on my result. I didn't have the guts to pick up the call and say that I've flunked badly and got myself a drop. With trembling hands, I silenced the call and then decided to go to the nearby medical store. By that time, I'd decided I'd end this misery once and for all. I went to the medical sho...

Man Beats Up Autowallah For Saying "Nahi Jaayega". Accusing Him Of Being A Sexist!

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 Mumbai:  In a horrific incident near Andheri, Ashok Thakur, a man working in Vector Infotek, beat the shit out of an autowallah, for refusing to take him to his destination. Ashok Thakur beating up the autowallah. (Pic Credits: Google images)         One of our correspondent spoke to Mr. Ashok, who bursted out saying, "For 1 hour, I was waiting for an auto, that would take me to Adarsh Nagar. But these ignorant and impudent bastards refused me everytime. What am I a fool or something? Nearly 18 autos rejected me saying "Nahi Jaayega", testing my patience. But this sexist &@#$**#, he provoked me. He too refused me rudely, like the other autowallahs did. But what shocked me was, that he willingly accepted to take the lady standing next to me, to Adarsh Nagar. He was blushing like she had proposed him for marriage! That moment I lost my cool and shoved him out of his rickshaw. Douchebag. He deserved this. Who does he think he is!?"...

The Great IIT'ian Circus!

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Hello Folks! Pretty long since I wrote something crappy. Well I was a bit busy these days, doing an internet research on sexually transmitted diseases in Mongolian tribes! First up, I'd like to congratulate all those who've fared well in their board and JEE exams recently! You've just reduced two years of slogging your ass & not getting laid, out of the remaining 50-60 years of your life! And I'd also like to thank you all for the amazing response you gave for my previous blog article, The Football Fanatics! :')                Moving forward, as  the world renowned philosopher, Sir  Friedrich Nietzsche once said "In near future, there will be more number of engineers in India, than the number of quantum particles in Universe." Well, I won't blame him for his absolutely factual and pragmatic thoughts about India. Never mind!                ...

Life: Unpredictably Ironic!

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Platform no. 9. Crowded as hell. No space for an ant to move. A young girl in her teens. Fair skin and lovely hair.  "Man! The trains are late today." "Seriously, what is wrong with these people?!" "Bitch! Stop moving! There's no place!" "Oh good lord, stop pushing me! I'll fall off the platform." "I swear, I'm never coming by train again." An announcement that the trains shall be even more late and the growing crowd. Breathing peacefully becomes an issue. Chaos all around. And, a text message. "I love you, beautiful. You're the best thing that has happened to me! You complete me. Thank you for being with me. I don't know what I'll do without you! You bring meaning to my life." Beauty had found solace amidst the mayhem.  Well, life can't always be fair, right? *booooom* A bomb blast. Beauty, solace and love were all short-lived.     {This is a guest post wr...

The Football Fanatics!

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So its that time of the year again when football fans all over the globe are having probably the best time of their lives. Football, Booze, Pizza.... Its nearly a month long big bash party! Its also the time  when new football fans just come out of their cocoon to be a part of this huge carnival! Its difficult to classify these football maniacs, but I'll help you figure out the types of football fans, you might come across. So Lets Kick Off! 1.] The Genuine Football Fans. No one can forget this beautiful mosaic by some genuine Dortmund fans! This category includes people who're football fans just because they love the sport. They support a team only because they like their style of playing. They have a good sense of football tactics and gameplay. These are the people who enjoy and appreciate a good football game, and won't crib even if their team loses in that game! They don't like the sport just to seem cool or impress anyone. How To Spot Them : Well, there ...

'Offendomania Fever' Grips India, High Alert Declared!

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People getting tested for the deadly McBc virus. India: The deadly Offendomania Fever(McBc Virus) , has gripped India recently with the toll of people infected rising upto a whooping 983647. A large number are people getting offended nowadays, reported our correspondents.             In the wake of the rise in number of McBc cases, the authorities have stepped up surveillance and measures to combat the massive spread of the disease. 4513 out of the 78463 samples sent to Bakchod Centre Of Virus Research, were confirmed to be badly affected by McBc.             Dr. Amar, the directorate of Bakchod Centre Of Virus Research told our reporters that McBc virus has much higher risk of causing severe anger, frustration and even violent behaviour in people that are infected with this virus. He said  "Its a serious matter of concern. This virus is spreading rapidly all ove...