Frankly Speaking : Arnab Thrashes Honey Singh!

Arnab nailing Honey Singh! (Pic Credits: Google Images)

Arnab : Welcome to Frankly Speaking, I'm Arnab Goswami. Tonight my dear viewers, we have got on our show, the so called 'Coolest Rapper Of India'. Whose pathetic songs can be heard almost everywhere across India. The guy who's absurd enough to add something as silly as 'Yo Yo' as a prefix to his name. Yes. You guessed it right. Please welcome Mr.Yo Yo Honey Singh on the show.

Arnab: Welcome to Frankly Speaking! Let me start this with a very basic question. So, Mr. Honey Singh. Why do you produce foolish songs?

Honey Singh: (smiling sheepishly) Thank You Arnab for inviting me to this show. I..

Arnab: (interrupts) Wait. Please stop this. Stop showing this gratitude by thanking me. Don't you think that I'll go soft on you if you treat me with these social courtesies. You'll have to answer my straight questions tonight, there's no escaping. Keep that in your mind. You may please continue now..

Honey Singh: Okay. I was saying that my songs aren't foolish. I make songs which directly make a contact with listener's heart and make people dance to its tunes.

Arnab: There you go! Listen to me carefully now. We Indians just love dancing, even if we suck at it. We Indians would dance to any song which has a catchy rhyme, even to a nursery rhyme like "Ringa Ringa Roses"

Honey Singh: But, people do love my songs  and enjoy listening to them...

Arnab: This is turning into a pointless conversation so I'll abruptly switch the topic. So Mr. Modi is power now. He's running a campaign known as 'Swach Bharat Abhiyaan' do you have any idea about that?

Honey Singh: Yes, I know about that campaign! And I'm willing to support Modi ji for his noble cause!

Arnab: That's the spirit, so from now on stop making songs. Leave this music industry, settle down in Uganda and never ever ever ever come back here again. It's the need of the hour, to clean up music industry from a filthy pervert like you!

Honey Singh: Whoa!! Sir, you're offending me, that was way too offensive, I don't make foolish songs. And how can you call me a pervert on national television? I don't....

Arnab: (interrupts ferociously) Wait. Wait Mr. Yo Yo. I've some documents, some lyrics of your recent songs...Just bear with my poor hindi...
*speaks in broken hindi*

"Sun lo saari duniya waalo
Jitna bhi tum zor laga lo
Karenge party saari raat
Gaan* mein dum hai toh band karwa lo
Party all night
Party all night
Party all night
We do party all night"

And here's another one,

"Suna tere college mein mere gane ban hai,
Padne likhne ka tera na koi plan hai,
Pass kradu, Phone Ghumadu,
Teri Principal bhi baby YO YO ki fan hai,
Teri Principal bhi baby YO YO ki fan hai,
Ah, Kehndi YO YO Honey singh.
Blue eyes, hypnotise teri kardi a mennu,
I swear! Chhoti dress mein bomb lagdi mennu"

Okay. Now what the fuck is this?
Do you have any explanation?

Honey Singh: Well, I try to be creative in my songs. People enjoyed these songs...

Arnab: (angrily) Stop it. Stop it Mr. Yo Yo. You're out of your  mind. You call this shit creative?
That's like KRK calling his acting in Deshdrohi, as creativity.

Honey Singh: (petrified) I'm..I'm sorry, I'll try to make my songs more meaningful henceforth...

Arnab: Okay. Moving forward, I recently heard that you want to win a Grammy in coming years. You said this in a statement to some newspaper. Is that true?

Honey Singh: (smiles) Yes. I do want to win a Grammy! Sab keh rahe hai ki main music industry mein chaa raha hu, but kya chaa raha hu, Grammy toh nhi laa paa raha hu! *tries to sound cool*

Arnab: Let me get this straight. Once again I'd like to ask you to stop making such pathetic rhymes every now and then. It's not cool. *starts screaming* NOT COOL AT ALL!

Honey Singh: But..

Arnab: (interrupts again) You feel you're some genius of a musician? Do you?
I've this statement or yours, which you gave to some news channel a few days back..
Let me quote you Mr. Yo Yo,
*speaks in terrible hindi*
 "Martin Luther ne sapna dekha tha toh Obama president hai. Meri bhi soch hai. Maine bhi sapna dekha hai. Agar main Grammy nahi laa paya toh koi aur meri chamri ka le jaayega and I'll be happy!"

Let me translate this to English for our viewers
"Martin Luther saw a dream, then Obama became a president. I too have my ideology. I too have a dream. If I wouldn't win the Grammy, some one else of my strain will win it, and I'll be happy!"

So, who do you think you are Mr. Yo Yo? You're destroying music, especially the rap & hip-hop genre. Please for my sake, start making some sensible songs or stop making songs all together.

Honey Singh: *about to burst in tears* This is insane. You're totally insane. How can you be so arrogant and insolent. I don't even... I can't.. Screw this man, I'm going..
*Starts removing the microphone*

Arnab: Wait Mr. Yo Yo, I'm not done yet, I want to talk about some pervert songs which you did, before you entered into mainstream bollywood music....Wait...

Honey Singh: *leaves the show mouthing abuses*

Arnab: (smiles like a newly wed bride) So, my dear viewers, Mr. Yo Yo didn't have the guts to answer my straight questions. He left the show doing what he usually does in his songs, mouthing abuses. Another one bites the dust! I'll take your leave now. Thank You for watching this show!

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(Above article is completely imaginary and fictional, any resemblance with real life namesake characters is totally co-incidental. Except the quotes of Mr. Yo Yo.)

This is the second article on the 'Arnab Goswami' series, here's the first one if you had missed it! :D
[(And yes, I'd written this article exactly a year back, much before TVF had introduced their own Arnub Qtipaya! :)]
Arnab Goswami Thrashes Babas on Newshour!

Do let me know about your opinions on this article and please, please share it with your friends if you enjoyed reading it! _/\_
Thank You. Till then, Adios! :)
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“Sab keh rahe hain chha raha hai ... he is so popular. Kya chhaa raha hoon, Grammy toh la nahi pa raha hoon - See more at: http://www.hindustantimes.com/entertainment/music/my-music-has-improved-i-want-to-win-a-grammy-in-10-years-yo-yo-honey-singh/article1-1246040.aspx#sthash.kzbaHy7Y.dpuf

Sab keh rahe hain chha raha hai

Sab keh rahe hain chha raha hai