The Art Of Portraying Yourself

What's up folks! It's been long since I wrote some bullshit in the name of a blog article. Actually, I was still recovering from the fact that Lemmy's no more and then suddenly David Bowie left us. Followed  by Alan Rickman. Fuck you goddamn Cancer.

New year blues.

So yeah, I was busy weeping and hating 2016 for being poignant as fuck.
Anyway, I've popped a few anti-depressants and totally ready to roll!

You are what you show the world you are. (Pic Source:

I still vaguely remember this incident. I was in 1st grade and there was this fatass douche who used to bully me in school, almost daily. I don't actually recall his name (Even if I remember his name, I won't mention it though, who knows he might happen to read this article)
Okay, so this dude used to eat away my whole tiffin, forced me to do his homework and whenever I used to resist his crap, he used to thrash the shit out of me. Doesn't sound great but yeah, life sucked pretty bad back in those days. So, this bullying continued for around a month. He made school seem like a shithole for me. Everyday, my life was gripped with fear of facing him. Fear that drove me nuts.

I was now really getting tired of this bullshit. It's not that I was a coward who couldn't even fight to defend himself. It just wasn't the way I was raised. Violence and me are like music and Honey Singh. So, I decided to speak up and act. Next day when he asked me for my tiffin I replied a firm 'no' and tried to avoid him. But he seemed adamant and refused to give up on my tiffin and started beating me up. Back in those days kids were avid WWE fans. WWE superstars were considered no less than superheroes! I was an ardent Shawn Michaels fan too!

So this fatso was trying to snatch my tiffin as usual, I don't really know what happened but somehow I lost it. The next moment I raised  my leg and hit him on his chest! *Boom*
Time stood still as I watched his face red in shock and anger! He was still recovering from this when I took my water bottle and planted another huge blow on his head. *Bang*
Sweet Chin Music, that's it. That fatass kid who was an epitome of strength and badness was now wailing like a small baby. Tears started rolling down his cheeks and off he went saying "Tu bahar mil aaj school chhutne ke baad.." 
That was just another way of saying "Prepare yourself to get screwed!"

I felt relieved as he vanished off from my sight and I started enjoying those delicious Aloo Parathas in my tiffin. But deep down I was scared as of what the hell he might do to me, after school. I was already preparing myself for the beating of my life.


School was over. I started taking slow, heavy steps towards my school bus, my mind was filled with all the shit that happened that day. Just then someone blocked my way. It was the same guy, standing expressionless as if someone had just shoved a cane up his arse. I tried my best not to cry or shit in my pants as I prepared myself for the worst. But what happened next came out of nowhere! Instead of beating the shit out of me, he extended his hand forward and said "Sorry yaar, pata nahi tha tu itna gussa hoga. Chal aaj se apan friends!"
I was wondering whether this is some kind of sugar coating before making a milkshake out of my bones or whatever, but that was unexpected. I smiled reluctantly and warmly accepted the handshake. The next thing I remember is that fatto stopped bullying me henceforth and we became the best buddies in school!

You might be wondering why am I shoving this lame ass story on you, wasting your precious weekend. I don't know, maybe I'm too bored to write something worthwhile. But I learned one thing that day. People see you exactly as you portray yourself to the world. To be frank that guy could have beaten the shit out of me that day but I did something which changed his entire perspective about me. For him, I was always the guy who lacked balls. But maybe, I might have intimidated him with the stunt I pulled there. It worked like charm. And yes, it always works.

Yeah. No one fucks with a Puffer fish! (Pic Source:

We folks are always depicting ourselves to this world, in some way or other.
We are a different person at home. A totally different person in school/college. An altogether different person in front of our friends. And a completely different person in the mirror. Scattering fragments of our personality.

What I'm trying to say here is you can't be yourselves all the time. Sometimes you've to mould yourself along with your surroundings in order to survive or to achieve something. Yeah, Darwin had it all figured out. Eventually, it all comes down to how well you present yourself to the world. You just need to learn the art of portraying. It isn't as easy as at it sounds. But once you've mastered this, there's nothing that can stop you. Don't believe me? Well, just have a look at our politicians and those sanctimonious pricks who call themselves godmen. The amount of people who blindly follow them and believe in them. Yes. You got it. People only believe in what they see. And you've got to show them something. It's all up to you, how you represent yourself out there. Be it a saint or a sinner.
As a dear friend once said, "Nothing exists for real. Not even you. It's all in your head. We all are schizophrenics."

All those quotes on "Always be yourself" and bollocks. It's all a sham. Come on, you know that!

When they say "Make yourself at home", do not make yourself at home. I repeat. DO NOT MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
What I'm trying to say is, everything is make-believe stuff. Motivational claptrap to make you feel good about yourself. Sadly, I still believe in it. Yes. My hatred for mainstream shit is never justified. 
Anyway, if you have to live in this society, you have to abide by their way of living.  As they say, "When in Uganda, do as the Ugandans do"
Wait, they're called 'Ugandans' right? Never mind.

We never really be ourselves except when we're alone. We all are actors, for whom this whole world is one huge stage! And when the curtain rises, you aren't the same person you were, moments before. Sad but true. It isn't our fault though. We just grow up in an environment like that. Nowadays, people sell their souls just to obtain something that's not even worth it. You've to often show this world that you are just like one of them, so that they don't weed you out like a leper. Eventually, you're what you portray!
And if you can't, I'd like to welcome you to the world of introverts! Let's hide behind the utopia of our books and music! It's all beautiful in here!

Okay. So, I've blabbed enough philosophical nonsense I guess. I can even hear this bottle of Old Monk crying itself to death.
Maybe I should stop reading those profound existentialism novels by Hesse.

Anyway, moving forward to this month's catalog. Err... last month's catalog.

Airlift. (This is one of those movies that leave a mark on you. Akshay Kumar has now surely set himself on the top of 'patriotism' genre!)

Starlit Sky. (Okay, I had written this song a few weeks back. It's funny to even call it a song. I'm sorry if your ears start to bleed!)

To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee. (Set in a small town of Mycomb, this is one epic of a tale! Harper Lee's classic masterpiece! Read it for Atticus Finch!)

Wrote a new poem too: Infinite Happiness

Before signing off, as usual I'd like to thank Rohith Jayarajan and Siddhi Pawar for proofreading this one.
Comments, criticisms and abuses are always welcome! Thank you for reading.

Till then, Adios! :)

(P.S. The author is delusional and suffers from mild dementia. Do not search for any pragmatic meaning in the article.)


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