Absurd Indian Advertisements!

GET OVER IIT'S, YOU FAGGOTS! IIN IS HERE! (Pic Credits: Google Images)

What's up folks? Well, I'd been a bit busy these days, slogging my ass writing assignments and doing submissions for the so called 'internal marks'.
Submissions are the most pathetic stage in an engineer's life. We've to literally 'submit' ourselves to the profs and faculty, so that they can screw us as they wish. And in return award us with good grades. (only if you're in their good books and have the ability to lick it well & clean!)
I never gave a fuck about grades, so it doesn't really matter much to me.

The other day I was surfing channels on my idiot box and just then these advertisements started to introspect my whole thinking process altogether. So, I decided why not write something on it.

I never quite understood the logic behind some of the advertisements they display on the tube these days. For instance, the 'AXE Deodorant' advert. Like this thing they show, how girls go drooling over you once you put on that deodorant.
Believe me, I've tried almost all of that shit, even bathed in that deodorant but no success. While I expected some random girl to go "Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow', as usual, girls around me didn't even acknowledge my existence.
Yeah, some street dogs came sniffing and started barking at me. *cries* :'(
 

This isn't the only ludicrous advert. There are many more. In fact the Indian ad industry is filled with such absurd as fuck advertisements.
There's this classic one, where they show a woman who wants to achieve success at something. And guess what does she do, to feel motivated and be successful!
Hard work?
No dude. That's too mainstream. She just prefers a certain brand of sanitary pads. Yes. I'm not kidding. Here you can check it out yourself,

Whisper Choice Sanitary Pads Indian advert.


A similar kind of ideology is applied to that 'Rajnigandha Pan Masala' advert. Their tagline itself says it all,
"Mooh mein Rajnigandha, kadmon mein duniya!"

So basically when you start failing at everything in life, just consume this pan masala and watch the world fall flat at your feet!

They just reached a whole new level of stupidity. Relating success to sanitary pads and pan masala. Damn. Seriously! Even Einstein's Theory of Relativity sucks donkey balls when compared with this relation.
Einstein : 0 | Indian Adverts : 1.
Well played guys. Well played. *Slow Claps*

Carrying a truck along with a helicopter, just for the sake of a cold drink. That isn't 'Toofaani'. That is chutiyapa. Complete chutiyapa. (Pic Credits: Google images)

You might have seen this 'Bhai' ad, where Bhai carries a truck along with a helicopter and calls it 'Toofaani'. Never mind, Bhai has his own style.
Ek baar apna dhakkan hata kar dekho. Bhai ne bola na toofaani hai, toh toofaani hai. Baat Khatam. #BhaiRoxx

And then, who can forget those fairness cream adverts! They just proclaim one thing, 'If you aren't fair skinned, you'll never succeed in life and will always be a loser'

It's ridiculous how they show a woman who is a bit darker in shade, getting neglected by the society and guys around her. But then comes her savior, a fairness cream! Within a week she undergoes a miraculous transformation! From dark chocolate to vanilla! (I'm sorry.)

And suddenly all the guys who neglected her in first place, swarm around her, trying to woo her & get her attention! So much win!

Even those pseudo feminists don't seem to have any problem about these adverts. And then they crib about objectifying women.

Again, there's the recent Lava mobile commercial where its protagonist 'Mr. Bhaskar' is a famous multi-tasker. Girls love him because he's got a cool smartphone with 2 gigabytes of RAM! So much swagger!
Even I have a smartphone with 2GB RAM, you idiots.  But I don't remember any girl saying, "OMG! You have a cool smartphone! Let's date!"

Similar kind of philosophy is used in that 'Fairness Cream For Men' advert. 'Face ka charger' and what not poppycock. Never mind, they all are risible as fuck.

Detergent soaps showing how to achieve unbelievable whitening effect. Screw fairness creams, we should rather rub those detergents on our face & body so that we can eventually turn into an albino.

Slim Sauna Belt giving you six pack abs within weeks, Nazar Suraksha Kavach protecting your from buri nazar, Dogs buying cars on CarTrade, Red Bull giving you wings and shit. IIN replacing schools and colleges, Toothpaste mein namak, nimbu, lavda, lasun.

Yeah. Aamhi Chutiye.

These insanely idiotic adverts nearly question your common sense and logic to such an extent, that even your brain wonders, "What the fuck is this shit?"
I really wonder who the heck writes the script for these advertisements.
Massive respect for those guys and their awesome creativity in creating those ads!


I could go on an on with this unending list of irrational and totally illogical advertisements.
But, I'm short on time as I've finish my research on Ugandan Gigolos and submit my thesis on it.

So I'll end it here, I hope you enjoyed reading it. If not you can freely abuse me in the comments section below.
I'd like to thank Siddhi Pawar and Rohith Jayarajan for proofreading this article. (My shitty grammar has now improved a lot! All credits to you guys! :D)
I'd also like to thank this crazy retard and best bud, Soham! He's the one who encouraged me to write on this topic! Thaankoo Bhai!

Please feel free to share your views on this one.
And, share it with your friends, if you think it's worth sharing. Please! _/\_

I haven't slept since a past few weeks, so bear with me if you find this article utter rubbish and nonsensical to the core.
Please don't stop visiting my blog *catches your feet and begs*
I promise to keep improving my quality of articles!
Thank You, you'll are the best! :)

{P.S : Check out the new column titled 'Poetic World' 
That's my second blog! *When you have nothing else to do in life, start a blog*
Just an outlet for my different genre of thoughts! Where I scribble some random words in a rhythmic pattern and shamelessly call it poetry. :)} 

Till then, adios! :)